Lent is coming and I would like to do something to deepen my relationship with God. I have a copy of the excellent book by Matthew Kelly, Rediscovering Jesus, that I hope to use as a map for my journey. It has 40 short chapters with thought-provoking questions at the end of each one. Pefect, right?
The problem is, I am great at starting things, but get easily bored or just plain forgetful or exhausted. When I miss a day, instead of just catching up and moving on, I am more likely to give up. There are quite a few bookmarks parked in the books on my shelf.
A more realistic journey through Lent is to suffer with my husband in a deeper and more compassionate way. Like Jesus on the road to Calvary, my husband falls quite a bit. It’s what people with Parkinson’s do. He is rarely hurt by this; only one trip to the ER thus far.
He has trouble dressing himself. When helping him do that, I could meditate on the humility of Jesus as the Romans dressd him in a cloak to mock him or when they stripped him and cast lots for his tunic.
It reminds me of John 21:18
Amen, amen, I say to you, when you were younger, you used to dress yourself and go where you wanted; but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.”
Parkinson’s is a degenerative disorder of the central nervous system. It makes movement difficult, causing sufferers to freeze or fall. They often need several tries to gain the momentum to get out of a chair. Medications to treat the disease must be taken very frequently. My husband is up to 5 doses a day and they cause annoying side effects like dyskinesia– involuntary movements.
My husband doesn’t tremble or roll his fingers, some of the more typical signs of Parkinson’s. He is now making involuntay movements of the trunk and arms. It looks like he’s doing a strange chair dance. Michael J. Fox does this so you’ve probably seen the move. It’s hard to watch, but not as hard as watching a crucifixion.
Parkinson’s is taking us both somewhere we don’t want to go. We walk the Via Dolorosa; a path of suffering and of redemption. Like Jesus’s mother Mary, I am virtually powerless to stop the progression. I must watch and pray and provide comfort by letting him know he is not alone. I will search for the graces that are always there, even in the midst of sorrows.
#Jesus,#Lent,#suffering,#Parkinsons,#Wayofthecross
February 7, 2016 at 7:32 pm
You make my lenten practices seem pretty sorry in comparison. But that first part that you mention (going off track) resonates with me. Your current experiences will give me something to think about this year during lent – to affirmatively pray for those who cross my path who are suffering through things from which I have (so far) been spared.
February 14, 2016 at 9:44 pm
I’m speechless after reading this. You are being such a wonderful witness! I just said a prayer for you! God bless both of you on this journey. (I’m reading Rediscovering Jesus during Lent, too!)
February 14, 2016 at 9:49 pm
Thanks you for the prayers Manda. They are greatly appreciated. So far, I am reading a chapter each day and trying to learn to trust more and worry less.
February 14, 2016 at 10:50 pm
I too am praying for you and your husband.
I too am reading Matthew Kelly’s book and leading a group of women through it weekly during Lent. So often I am a Martha, desiring to be a Mary, filling my life with busyness.
I too have been asked to go on a journey with my husband not of our own choosing, after surviving a deadly bank robbery. It’s been a journey of 13 years, and at times we both “fall” into fear, worry, anger, and wanting to be in “control” of where God wants to lead us. It seems easier sometimes for me to let go and let God lead me to healing. This Lent I am encouraging my husband to let me help him let God in. It’s hard for him to trust that God wants to show him more, and that it’s good. Please pray for us as well.
February 15, 2016 at 5:55 am
Thank you for your prayers and for sharing your story, Sheryl. It is good to know that we are not alone in our struggles. I will pray for you and your husband, too.
I have Psalm 46:10 on the wall opposite my bed. “Be still and know that I am God.” It’s reminder that I am not God, and all of my busy-ness will take me further from Him.
February 15, 2016 at 7:34 pm
Goodness, my dear. Thank you for warming my heart and sharing your journey with Jesus and living your life as a testimony to His love. Wishing you a blessed Lenten journey!
February 15, 2016 at 7:50 pm
I appreciate your encouragement. God bless.
February 16, 2016 at 7:20 pm
Prayers for strength and, yes, joy on your journey.